My first time writing my journal here

For those that know what's going on sikp to the update but I had to let my daughter stay with a so called friend ni left in her care for to reasons I thought I was being a good mom by putting her in a better place till we moved and give her a better home more stabe the home we had the electric was a thousand dollars nerded to much repare we were supposed to rent to own it and be able to do the repares but afer we should have owned it  we find out the owner had no title to the place so it was a lie and with that high of electric bill we were barly eatting no heat no repates were getting done and why fix what we will not own ever for the landlord so I had her stay with Darlene till we got a new home we decided to move found this place it needs work but we love it here so we move kira had to stay till school endded  did want to mess up her schooling to late in the season to change schools so we started preparing for her to come here paul mu bf got a job we fixed up a room for her got her a bed a tv and dvd player cable and now Darlene is trying to get custody of my baby girl my daughter kira I could not have any contact with her till the court date it about broke my heart now I get visitation but got sick and can't go and with the van broke down having problems getting there tryed to get a lawyer couldn't they want to much  up front I'm working on getting rides to see her when I get well .ow they have taken kiras part of the money away from me that was the house payment the her bed payment her phone payment so I had to make a hard decision wheelchair or have a home I chose a home what I'm saying is that I stopped working cause of my bad back I could not walk without help for a while I had to learn to walk again I was told if I work I could be in for being in a wheelchair well I can possibly get a job with paul so I'm going to do it to keep our home without this house I will lose kira I won't give up on getting my baby back I'm going to keep praying and fighting for my daughter to come home and be with us even if it means a wheelchair is coming for me to hell with that money to hell with Darlene we will make it some how top it off I can't be with her the forth she won't let me I've never gone a Holliday where I wasn't with her it sadness me and kira started her monthly she's becoming a woman in I couldn't be there for her I always thought I would be there for that doing the mom thing one thing about it makes me laugh Darlene was pissed about how much pads cost and that she had to pay for them the way I see it she started this kids cost thats what goes with it deal with it u reap what u sow serves her right u get what u get I would be paying for them if she had just come home when she was supposed to she was supposed to come home when school ended for summer then start school here kira didn't want to change schools I understand but sometimes u got to do what I got to do to improve life ro give her a better life with us or that was the plan.